TIME...THOUGHTS...LIFE

LIFE as such is such a wonderful thing in itself.It is like the exam that you will always fail when the feeling of being the topper takes you up and the test that you will always pass knowing he fact the fact that iv just flunked a major exam.everyday in itself is a big fight,fight with ones own self,fight with whole world around me and a constant fight to know what`s next that is in store.Living in a world that has given it`s very fair share of good events, fair share of bad times and a small chunk of worst moments when the feeling that nothing can go wrong begins to rise...that's the newsflash that keeps popping up every now and then. Life has and will always been the roller coaster that will take to me to the top at one moment and then hit me with the fact that there might a fall at any moment.
I have this major bad habit of taking things too lightly when it should not be, taking things too seriously when they should not be and constantly thinkin about stuffs which will make things jus get deeper and deeper into a deep abyss.There are just way too many things that keep just repeat in itself every time i don`t want to think about it.Blogging has made things a bit more relaxed, a bit more subtle with reactions that i might give , but typin stuffs in random without giving it much thought and reading it just leads to one thing...deleting lines that i wonder why i`v typed in the first place.There are instances that when i feel i should shout out the things that just keep me in a state of mindlessness, but somethings are better left alone, better left untold, better be just inside.My hand constantly feels this itchiness to keep writing stuffs that my heart says , but then later while again reading what iv just written my mind takes over n deletes the stuffs that were just etched out....Some personal stuffs are better left to be personal i suppose.
The feeling of my pride taken a beating will remain, so will the hurt n then everything will pass by like a silent breeze which just managed to rake up a storm in between.A very good friend of mine had once told that TIME HEALS EVERYTHING...a true reality...it does...it heals everything but leaves a lasting scar deep inside that sometimes comes back from the memories of my past to keep me haunted towards looking at the future.when i take a look back at my past, i see myself constantly juggling with idea of being from a nobody to a somebody, n the juggle just continues.
Fortunately/unfortunately for me time knows only one direction to follow....that is a way forward irrespective of the consequences of what might be the future, not withstanding the realms of the past.FORTUNATE-coz that's what keeps me goin lookin for a better tomorrow with hope that it might be better than today.UNFORTUNATE-coz there are a million things that i wish i could change about myself,the things that i did.Coz at the end of the day even if i may fail to accept it , i do regret a lot of the things that i hav done in the past and i would think very little to undo the wrongs of my past, hoping to change my present and in due time my future as well.

I am still left with the thoughts that my heart sez to shout it out but as consciousness has begun to kick in, the sense of saneness also returns.The thoughts will not evade away but the words etched in here sure will.My fingers still have this unusual itch to type things but the mind refuses to co-operate, a sense of blankness is beginning to fill in....maybe it`s also coz i need to be sleeping in sometime and with time not waiting,after the smoke has cleared i still hope for a better tomorrow....hoping for life to smile upon me.....like the heading sez.....TIME, it will surely be mine someday....