A New beginning ..a fresh start

Deja Vu

The title has never made much sense to me coz really it never did happen to me.All this time it was just a phrase with a meaning that sounded really very interesting.But as of now, that perception has totally changed, coz DEJA VU just made a lot sense to me now than it ever did.
N what is interesting about this is the fact coz of this i was made aware of the facts that i only assumed all this while.This suddenly hit me like right IN MY FACE, n then the feeling slowly is beginning to sink in.
The year started on a kinda ruff note, continues to be so for some time, then stabilised and now this to rock the cradle with the facts to prove it.....So many things in so little time.
life never got so interesting, so annoying, so indulging, so exciting n definitely not more wanting....N its not even a month to the new year...Wondering what all are the surprises that are still in store for me....Just hoping that all of them are good surprises.

A Tree story

I don`t remember when exactly, maybe it was some 4 yrs ago that i had heard this story on the radio.....i think i had my exams at the time when i had heard it n it really was a very touching story.I hope am able to do justice to what i heard that night...

Well...here goes nothing

This story is about 2 trees, 2 soulmates, 2 bodies who were made for each other.These 2 trees had stood the test of time against all odds of tough weather n changing seasons to stand by each other all the time.They were a happy couple and loved each others company in that warm n serene environment.They were the only two trees in that particular area.It was a very beautiful location by the riverside with pleasant view of the mountains surrounding them.The were very much in love with each other,had been for all the time that they had been together n always knew they will forever be together.

Years rolled by, after some time, with the changing season , times also began to change.The usually calm place saw some activity with a human frequenting it very often.The trees had not seen much of any kinda activity in there and were very curious as to who this person was and what he was trying to do there.Daily he used to come,wander around for some time, pluck fruits from the tree, eat them to to his heart`s content, quench his thirst from d river nearby and then leave.This routine continued for a few days and he did not turn up for a few days after that.The trees were very curious as to what might have happened that he has stopped coming now.
A few days later, he did come back, but this time with a few others as well.It seems like that person owned that place and now wanted to build his home in there.Both the trees were happy to know this as they knew that they will soon have company of this human who seemed like a jolly good fellow.

But their joy was short lived and was about to turn into a night mare.The people who had come with the person who owned the place had come with things that our trees had never seen before.They were shiny, were sharp... part of it was metal and part wood.Before long that they could realise what it was, those people came towards them and after some conversation took all their tools towards the female tree.Before long that our trees could realize what was happening around,those people started to climb up on her n started to cut its branches.She screamed in pain, and with each blow that she took, started to bleed.But the people who were doing this never noticed her blood, could not her her pain,they just went along doing what they were doing.Only her companion could hear this, he was devastated at the mere sight of his love being tortured.He was frustrated, agony filled his heart and it was a time when he felt that he wished he could move....his anger was such that he wanted to rip apart the people who were indulging in such a horrific incident, but jus could not move.Both the trees screamed at the people to let her go,begged them for mercy but their desperate pleas just went unheard, and in very little time all of her branches had come down.She had no hands now,she was cut down to her bare minimum.Tears were rolling down her eyes, blood had filled up the place where she stood,it was the most vulnerable position that she had ever been.Just beside her, her love was constantly screaming, screaming in pain,screaming for help, screaming that his call for help just might be answered,there just might be someone who will come to her rescue....calling for a saviour.Then the unthinkable started to happen,the humans took their axes and started working on her trunk.With every blow that she took, she cried for help even more,she wept even more, she bled even more,the hope in her of living with the person she loved forever started to fade away,she wept blood out of her eyes....But all her pain could only be felt by her man next to her who was as much in agony as she was.He was looking at his love being taken her away from her with him being able to do absolutely nothing.He was just a mute spectator to the massacre that was happening before him.Finally her misery was put to an end with one final blow to the point where she could take it no longer,she came tumbling down,her pain ended and she lied there lifeless....no more a tree with life, no more could she breathe, no more could she live, just lay there a piece of log.
Just next to her stood in extreme pain, her partner who just could not do anything, his heart filled with extreme pain,his mind was tortured at the sight of what he saw, his soul devastated...he was disgusted with his helplessness and wanted to live no more.Just wished that he would die the next moment.Was, also hoping that these people who had just taken the love of his life away from him also would kill him.But, it just was not the case to be...those people took her lifeless body away and left him in all loneliness.He hoped that in course of time, his misery will also be put to an end.

As the days passed by, a house was being constructed nearby..he noticed that the humans who took her body,were giving it different shapes and used it decorate their place.The very sight of it increased his pain.But deep inside, he hoped that his turn to join her in the heavens will come very soon.
Unfortunately for him, the human had decided that the tree standing in front of his house would be a nice view to look at and decided to let him live...Live the life in solitude, in loneliness...Unaware of this,he just waited, waited in hope of meeting his lost soulmate in the heavens, in hope of putting an end to his misery, in hope, in anticipation of something that just was not what was going to be happening, in the hope to die.....

What exactly is going on....

This is the question that i`v been putting to myself for almost 2 weeks now....REALLY, what the fuck is going on.Things just don`t seem to be right.It`s like am in an alternate universe in itself.Things that am hardly used to see, am looking at them with utmost despair....wish things had turneed out differently than they did....

This is the reason y.....

He is this dude who has taken life with utmost care so that life does not screw him back...n how is this done, by taking things as lightly as light can be.Y SO SERIOUS...the joker said n prolly this term is almost applicable to him, being serious and this guy have never gone hand in hand for a long time......well atleast thats what i had thought.
There are always lessons to be learnt, n some the hard way....this has just been one of those times where being serious and him have been best friends.

Here goes nothing....
He had imagined all his life with 1 girl who`m he knew would never be with....very ironic,buts that's how his things have been.And rightly so , things that he had imagined turned out to be true...but at a very acceptable pace, not much hue n cry over it.But, things were not as as simple as it seems,what he thought was ready for, turned out to be a total farce.It was one of those times that he realised that how wrong he has been about himself....He was the one who had thought that his heart could never break, now he knows that it was one big mistake.
But he will never give in to pressure, never will give up on life, on love n will always refuse to die...i hope am right.
Maybe this is just the right time to update details about what he thinks he is...this is indeed an irony in itself.

As if this was not enduring enough, his very good friend for a reason what he thinks is justifiable but for a very strange reason is ignoring him....ppl don`t mind a lot of things , but SOME HATE TO BE IGNORED...maybe these are just my fears taking over but the situation as such concludes to this direction only....Really hoping desperately that things are proved otherwise...else a lot of things that he has believed in will come down falling even heavily than the fall of the twin towers.

There are good times, then are bad times....people go trough it always and some instances wud need help to let that phase pass thru...this dude here never would have thought that there might come a time where he would actually be on the other side of the fence seeking help.

HIS ETERNAL BELIEF : Friends have always been there and those trusted ones will continue to be there no matter what, but the idea of seeking help just does not seem to be him.Coz he has always done things on his own and in due course of time will continue to do so...this will be the eternal fact.But, everyone needs help at some or the other point in life and this was a time that even he needed help.He had this fear inside, the fear to stretch his arms for help from people who are near, who can and will help even without asking, but the thought of asking for help just does not seem to right.After a gruelling fight within himself, he did stretch for help, but for a fact knew that the best friend he is telling his troubles to will not be able to do anything even though she wants to....that`s another ironic fact, and that is just something that will have to live with.

N i really hope that for his own good, hie tryst with seriousness breaks up very soon.....

LIFE.....

Life has just been going from one door to another, in search of something that is totally unknown,you have something in front of you that you know is good but still the persuit of the better just never stops.

In the pathway between one door to another lies many windows, these are the windows of opportunities.....U take the right window at the right time and make the most of it, life will just be better that ever, or else life will screw you back making it as miserable as it can be.
I have been walkin this life passing from one door to another with very little aim as to what i want, very little ambition and very little hope of finding the best.

It has just been taking things the way they come, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is still far away, just live the life for today.....sounds very simple , doesn`t it.But, It is just not the way it seems, because in the time between yesterday and tomorrow, the TODAY holds the key to a lot of things.Today holds the key for tomorrow.Use the right keys at the right times and path leading to tomorrow will be as pleasant as possible, but holding on to yesterday will make today just not how u thought of it yesterday.I am today because of what i did yesterday and i will be tomorrow because of what i will do today....this cycle will continue till the last breath that i take, till the day life will say i can`t take any more tomorrows, until then, this journey continues.....

Another year....and so it goes on

yoooohooo...a new year is finally upon us...but for people like me, tis jus noder day with jus a chnage in number, not anything extravagant or special about it tho....jus the usual stuffs of wishing anybody and everybody that i bump inot wishing a very happy new year......i try to make resolutions and hardly try to keep up those resolutions that i make....i guess with another year comea another set of resolutions, another set of broken, compromised and un fulfilled set of resolutions....the only differnce is that this time around, am actually writing it down somewhr...

1) Go to gym, n hopefully get another bakra to tag along with me ;-)....NO TIME TO GO, SO THIS RESOLUTION MITE JUS OFFICIALLY BE VOID
2)Atleast put on 10 kilos of extra weight, being a skinny character is just not done....y coz when aamir "old man" khan can have such a body.....so the bloody fuck can "I"
3)Hopefully n most definitely do the stuff that i have never been able do,...not gonna put it on paper tho...DONE
4)My long cherished wish of having my hair long.....jus hoping that am not goaded to have a hair cut for a very looooooooong time.
5)Be more able in the technical stuffs so that i don`t screw up at work.... :-p
6)Try to make sure that i don get angry at very little stuffs
7)Be the dude that i have always been....
8)Most importantly......DON B SERIOUS....


Wish all the people out there a very happy new year... :)
.
.
.
.
.
For some strange reason i have decided to update this blog once my resolutions are met.......one by one
Objective number 3 achieved.....din fulfill the cause,but still achieved none the less.....n IT IS NOT NONSENSE...it never was